Praying for Couples Going through Infertility

By Lindsey Ceravolo

Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility?  Most likely, you know someone who has struggled or is currently struggling to have a baby.  And it is tough.  Couples dealing with infertility receive a lot of advice.  Just relax!  Just adopt!  Eat this, don’t eat that!  Pray more!  Don’t worry, it’ll happen!  These seemingly harmless phrases can send some people into a fit of rage.  Or worse, it can make them feel like they have control over this and if they just had more faith, a healthier lifestyle, were more godly or less sinful, then they would have a baby.  

People feel uncomfortable when they find out a friend or family member is struggling to get pregnant and they don’t know what to say.  I get it!  So keep it simple.  Tell them you will be praying for them and let them know you are there if they want to talk about it.  And then pray for them!  As someone who has struggled with infertility, is in the midst of infertility treatments and has quite a few friends who have been in the same boat, here are some of the ways that you can pray for the TTC (trying to conceive) community!

Peace

Struggling to have children can leave you feeling rattled.  Even more so because , a lot of times, there isn’t an easy fix.  Many fertility treatments require medications that alter your hormones, change your body and cost a lot!  IVF (in vitro fertilization) is a lot to go through mentally and physically and it’s expensive.  Adoption is also very expensive and can take years.  All of this uncertainty can make you feel at war with your body, your mind and with God.  Pray for them to have peace.  To have peace with the situation, peace with their decisions and peace about the future.  To not worry about what might happen or feel overwhelmed.  For God to give them peace about what they are going through.  To know there is a plan and a purpose.

Marriage

Couples who undergo fertility treatments and fail to have a baby are three times more likely to get divorced. Infertility can be hard on even the strongest marriages.  Sometimes husband and wife are not on the same page about how to move forward.  Fertility treatments require a lot of testing to figure out why the couple is infertile.  And a lot of times it’s an issue with only one person.  This can lead to the blame game.  Which is toxic.  Add on top of it that men and women generally deal with infertility and the heartache differently and that there may be financial stress…  PRAY FOR THEIR MARRIAGE!  Pray that they will be unified in their decisions. That this will bring them closer together and closer to God.  Infertility can absolutely strengthen a marriage! 

Emotions

Pregnancy announcements and baby showers can send people into a downward spiral.  You begin to wonder what you did wrong.  Why God chooses to bless some people with children and why He doesn’t want to bless you.  We are complicated beings and while it might be hard to understand, we can feel many emotions at once.  Infertility has a way of making you feel too much at once and like you are losing your mind.  Jealously is a common thing to feel.  Jealousy that you can’t control.  Jealousy that you know is wrong and ugly so not only do you feel jealous, you feel guilty for feeling jealous.  Which is seriously the worst.  So pray that during times when jealousy creeps in, that they would push those thoughts away.  That they would renew their minds with truth- God loves me and wants good things for me too.  It is also common to feel both happy and sad at the exact same moment.  We can be SO happy for others pregnancies and babies and success and also be sad for ourselves.  Pray that they will acknowledge and pray through any emotions they feel.  Pray that they will allow themselves to be sad for a short amount of time and that they will pick themselves back up.  Pray that the people around them will understand how complicated the emotions can be.  

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